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Free Crochet Wall Hanging Pattern – Fuck.

This free crochet wall hanging pattern is for lovers of the f-bomb. 

I don’t know about you, but fuck is basically my favorite word… #shrug

It’s just such a useful word! It fits in so well in just so many places. It’s gotten me in trouble here lately though. 

See, as you may know, my daughter is almost 4 at the time I’m writing this…And, as we all know, they are parrots. But this kid has also somehow picked up nuance and form…

Crocheted wall art that says "Fuck." Represents a crochet pattern that is available from Classy Lady Yarnworks
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"Open the door ya fuck!"

-My 4 Year Old

 

I’m rather weirdly proud of her, if I’m being honest. But that’s just because I’ve never understood why some words got deemed offensive. I mean, if we’re talking about racial slurs, well that’s different. Those are words used to hurt others and fuck anyone that uses them.

But the point here is, the other day my brother was messing with her and “locked her out” of a door. She, without skipping a damn beat, yelled at him through the door, “Open the door ya fuck!”

As soon as we were all done choking down the laughter, we explained to her that those are adult words and that she can say them when she’s older. We’re still actively working on that, don’t ask me how it’s going…

We are so screwed when she gets to kindergarten. But hey, on the plus side, I doubt very seriously that kids will be able to say much to shock or upset her any time soon. I’m probably going to have a lot of parents that hate us for teaching their kids things though. Yep…I’m that mom.

Fuck. - A Wall Tapestry - Free Crochet Pattern

So yeah, this crochet wall hanging pattern, the first of 4 in the “To the Point Series”, is brought to you by my favorite word. Just imagine the conversations to be had when people walk in the door and see this beautiful wall hanging there on the wall to greet them. There will be joy, there will be confusion, possibly even some judgement. Delight in all it!

Or of course, WIP it up for a friend whose favorite word is an f-bomb.

If you need some help in the colorwork area, I recommend this tutorial by my friend Claire over at E’Claire Makery. Since this is a one-sided piece, intarsia is by far my recommendation for working your color. It looks all nice and clean when you’re done 🙂

 

Top it off with a few decorative rows, slip it on to a 12″ dowel rod and you’re good to go! 

This crochet wall hanging pattern is a quick and easy one! Stitch it up in a weekend and you can be telling the world just how you feel in no time!

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do 🙂 It’s staring at me on the wall as I write this actually. It seemed like the perfect place for my favorite word

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Details
aka The Boring Shit.

Skill Level

Intermediate

Materials

Yarn -

Hook -

Image of various crochet notions and yarn. Lion brand comfy cotton in whipped cream, lion brand ice cream cotton blend in rainbow, clover 4.5mm hook, yarn needle, reading glasses and wooden dowel rod. All things used in the Fuck. wall art crochet pattern.

Notions -

Gauge

Using US #7 (4.5 mm) and yarn (A) 15 single crochet stitches and 17 rows = 4”

Why gauge? If you want your piece to fit on the 12″ dowel rod, gauge matters. If you are fine with needing to cut a larger/smaller dowel, then it matters less.

Sizes

Finished size of tapestry itself (not including section to hang on dowel rod) – 10″ x 14″

Abbreviations

beg – beginning

ch – chain

dc – double crochet

hdc – half-double crochet

rep – repeat

RS – right side

sc – single crochet

sl st(s) – slip stitch(es)

sp(s) – space(s)

st(s) – stitch(es)

tc – triple crochet

WS – wrong side

Pattern Notes

  • Try playing with different size yarn and corresponding hooks to achieve different tapestry sizes, just remember you’ll have to adjust the dowel rod to match
  • Ch at beg of row counts as 1st stitch, unless noted otherwise, throughout entire pattern.
  • Graph is worked in single crochet.

Special Stitches

  • Picot – ch3, sl st into third ch from hook
Crocheted wall art that says "Fuck." Represents a crochet pattern that is available from Classy Lady Yarnworks

Crochet Pattern Instructions for
Fuck. - A Wall Hanging
aka The FUN Shit!

Graph Section

The actual image of the graph is included with the premium pdf version, available for just $3!

Worked in single crochet.

To begin graph section – Ch 37, 1st stitch of row 1 worked in second ch from hook.

Colors (A) & (B) denoted in Materials>Yarn section at beginning of pattern

Ch 37, begin row 1 in second st from hook to have one ch1 and 35 sc

← Row 1-10 [Alternating RS/WS, ending with 10th row on WS]: A36

← Row 11 [RS]: A2, B2, A, B2, A3, B2, A2, B6, A, B6, A5, B2, A2

→ Row 12 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B6, A, B6, A2, B2, A3, B2, A, B2, A2

← Row 13 [RS]: A5, B2, A3, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2

→ Row 14 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A3, B2, A5

← Row 15 [RS]: A5, B2, A3, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2

→ Row 16 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A2, B2, A6

← Row 17 [RS]: A6, B2, A2, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2

→ Row 18 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A2, B2, A6

← Row 19 [RS]: A7, B5, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A2, B5, A2

→ Row 20 [WS]: A2, B5, A2, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B4, A8

← Row 21 [RS]: A8, B4, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2

→ Row 22 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B5, A7

← Row 23 [RS]: A6, B2, A2, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2

→ Row 24 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A2, B2, A6

← Row 25 [RS]: A6, B2, A2, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2

→ Row 26 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A3, B2, A5

← Row 27 [RS]: A5, B2, A3, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2

→ Row 28 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A3, B2, A5

← Row 29 [RS]: A5, B2, A3, B2, A2, B6, A, B2, A2, B2, A, B6, A2

→ Row 30 [WS]: A2, B6, A, B2, A2, B2, A, B6, A2, B2, A3, B2, A5 – B can be fastened off.

← Row 31-40 [Alternating RS/WS, ending with 40th row on WS]: A36 – DO NOT FASTEN OFF.

Close up of crocheted wall art that says "Fuck." Represents a crochet pattern that is available from Classy Lady Yarnworks

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Collage of images that represent free printable art perfect for crass people who also love crochet. There are 10 unique designs and most include expletives.

Wall Hanging Pattern Instructions Continued

Top Border

Continue from top of graph:

Row 1: ch3, *(dc, ch1, sk1) 17 times*, dc, turn

Row 2: ch3, dc in each st and ch1 sp, turn

Row 3: repeat row 1

Row 4: ch3, *(dc in ch1 sp, ch1, sk next st) 17 times*

Row 5-6: repeat row 4

Fasten off leaving extra long tail for sewing dowel tube.

Bottom Border

Flip work upside down and RS facing, attach yarn in 1st ch of graph section beginning ch.

Row 1: ch4, sk1, *(dc, ch 1, sk1) 16 times*, 2dc, turn

Row 2: ch4, sk1, *(dc in ch1 sp, ch1, sk1) 16 times*, 2 dc, turn

Row 3: ch1, sc across, turn

Row 4: ch4, sl st in 3rd ch from hook, sc *(sc, picot, sc) 17 times*, fasten off.

Finishing

Sew Dowel Tube

Using extra long tail left at the end of top border section, fold the top border down towards the WS of the tapestry, whip stitch the top of the last row to the top of row 6 (last row) to the top of row 2 (dc row,) fasten off and sew in tail.

Hanging Cord

Choose a color, I prefer to use the same color as the background, but you do you. We’re going to create a cord using a simple crocheted chain.

Leave a generous tail at the beginning and end of this piece, it will be used to help secure the cord to the dowel in the final step. I like to leave about 18in.

ch 10, sl st in first ch, ch 70, sl st in tenth ch from hook, fasten off.

You should have a long chain with a loop and a long tail at each end. See 1st photo on Page 8 for visual.

Block

Sew in those ends and then BLOCK IT with the main piece (not including the hanging loops/tube) measuring around 10″ x 14″ 

I know, I know, blocking is no fun. But blocking can mean the difference between a nice rectangular flat piece and a wall hanging that looks like it belongs in a fun house. Block it damn it! Love you <3

I find that I prefer steam blocking for these pieces, it dries faster. BE CAREFUL with steam if you go with an acrylic yarn, overheating acrylic will “kill it” making it super shiny and drapey (totally a real word right? Right.) Unless, of course, that’s the look you want, then kill away 🙂

These are the mats I use and I love them!

Thread Dowel Rod

Thread the dowel rod through the loops/tube at the top of the piece. You may need to bust out a bit of sandpaper if the dowel is not smooth and the threads catch. Don’t have sandpaper? Try a nail file to at least smooth out the worst spots.

Now high five yourself because you're done my friend!

Share your amazingness with the world!

It brings me great joy to see how you make these patterns your own! 

So please don’t forget to tag @ClassyLadyYarnworks and use #ExpressYourselfWithStitches when you share pics of your new piece so I and the rest of the community can tell you how fucking awesome you are <3 

You never know, you might just end up featured on one of my channels!

And don't forget to pin this page for later so you can come back to this free crochet pattern whenever you want!

Crocheted wall art that says "Fuck." Represents a crochet pattern that is available from Classy Lady Yarnworks
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<<Pin this pattern for later!

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and snag the PREMIUM PDF version of this free crochet pattern for just $3!

You’ll get:

 

  • ZERO ads
  • Extra photo tutorials to help with visualizing various instructions
  • A nice neat layout that’s easy to read
  • My ETERNAL GRATITUDE for being the absolute fucking coolest human being and supporting my small business <3

Connect with CLY and your fellow yarn addicts!

Collage of images that represent free printable art perfect for crass people who also love crochet. There are 10 unique designs and most include expletives.

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All Classy Lady Yarnworks patterns are ©2020 by Stephanie Wallick (Wallick Family Enterprises, Inc) and are for your personal use only. You may sell items you personally make by hand from these patterns. Feel free to tag @classyladyyarnworks, share the link to the appropriate post when posting about the item you made or use the social sharing links to share on social media. You may not redistribute this copyrighted content to any website or internet discussion group. Thank you for supporting indie artisans!
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10 free art printables that only the classiest of yarn addicts will appreciate!
Sign up and get yours below!

Collage of images that represent free printable art perfect for crass people who also love crochet. There are 10 unique designs and most include expletives.

3 thoughts on “Free Crochet Wall Hanging Pattern – Fuck.”

  1. Pingback: Crochet Pattern - Love Yourself / Go Fuck Yourself - Mood Swing - Classy Lady Yarnworks

  2. Great pattern! Saw it on the Mom gifts blog hop and raced over here. Can’t wait to work it up and gift it—maybe to my mom. She has just started saying F$$k and boy does she say it now!

    PS—The blog hop buttons are not working, at least the Ravelry one isn’t.

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