This free crochet wall hanging pattern is for lovers of the f-bomb.
I don’t know about you, but fuck is basically my favorite word… #shrug
It’s just such a useful word! It fits in so well in just so many places. It’s gotten me in trouble here lately though.
See, as you may know, my daughter is almost 4 at the time I’m writing this…And, as we all know, they are parrots. But this kid has also somehow picked up nuance and form…
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"Open the door ya fuck!"
I’m rather weirdly proud of her, if I’m being honest. But that’s just because I’ve never understood why some words got deemed offensive. I mean, if we’re talking about racial slurs, well that’s different. Those are words used to hurt others and fuck anyone that uses them.
But the point here is, the other day my brother was messing with her and “locked her out” of a door. She, without skipping a damn beat, yelled at him through the door, “Open the door ya fuck!”
As soon as we were all done choking down the laughter, we explained to her that those are adult words and that she can say them when she’s older. We’re still actively working on that, don’t ask me how it’s going…
We are so screwed when she gets to kindergarten. But hey, on the plus side, I doubt very seriously that kids will be able to say much to shock or upset her any time soon. I’m probably going to have a lot of parents that hate us for teaching their kids things though. Yep…I’m that mom.
Fuck. - A Wall Tapestry - Free Crochet Pattern
So yeah, this crochet wall hanging pattern, the first of 4 in the “To the Point Series”, is brought to you by my favorite word. Just imagine the conversations to be had when people walk in the door and see this beautiful wall hanging there on the wall to greet them. There will be joy, there will be confusion, possibly even some judgement. Delight in all it!
Or of course, WIP it up for a friend whose favorite word is an f-bomb.
Top it off with a few decorative rows, slip it on to a 12″ dowel rod and you’re good to go!
This crochet wall hanging pattern is a quick and easy one! Stitch it up in a weekend and you can be telling the world just how you feel in no time!
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do 🙂 It’s staring at me on the wall as I write this actually. It seemed like the perfect place for my favorite word
Need some help in the crochet colorwork arena?
Check out the videos in my YouTube playlist of tutorials for Crochet Colorwork and Graphs
How to Read a Crochet Graph>
Change Colors Fair Isle Method>
You’ll see this called Intarsia in the video, but I have since learned that, after all this time of doing this thing, this method is actually called Fair Isle.
Intarsia is specifically where you would use a separate bobbin for each and every section where the color changes (using the video’s example, the H, I, ! and Background would all have a separate bobbin in Intarsia. Where Fair Isle, the colors are carried across the wrong side of the work.
Change Colors Tapestry Method>
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Details
aka The Boring Shit.
Skill Level
Intermediate
Materials
Yarn -
-
- (A) Lion Brand – Comfy Cotton Blend (50% cotton, 50% polyester; 392y/358m; 7oz/200g): Whipped Cream, 1/3 skein/122y
- (B) Lion Brand – Ice Cream Cotton Blend (53% acrylic, 47% cotton; 225y/206m; 3.5oz/100g): Rainbow, 1/5 skein/25y
Hook -
-
- 4.5mm/#7 – Clover Soft Touch are one of my favorites!
Notions -
-
- Yarn Needle
- 12″ length of 1/2″ dowel rod, preferably a smooth one
- Extra length of yarn in color of choice to create hanger
Gauge
Using US #7 (4.5 mm) and yarn (A) 15 single crochet stitches and 17 rows = 4”
Why gauge? If you want your piece to fit on the 12″ dowel rod, gauge matters. If you are fine with needing to cut a larger/smaller dowel, then it matters less.
Sizes
Finished size of tapestry itself (not including section to hang on dowel rod) – 10″ x 14″
Abbreviations
beg – beginning
ch – chain
dc – double crochet
hdc – half-double crochet
rep – repeat
RS – right side
sc – single crochet
sl st(s) – slip stitch(es)
sp(s) – space(s)
st(s) – stitch(es)
tc – triple crochet
WS – wrong side
Pattern Notes
- Try playing with different size yarn and corresponding hooks to achieve different tapestry sizes, just remember you’ll have to adjust the dowel rod to match
- Ch at beg of row counts as 1st stitch, unless noted otherwise, throughout entire pattern.
- Graph is worked in single crochet.
Special Stitches
- Picot – ch3, sl st into third ch from hook
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Crochet Pattern Instructions for
Fuck. - A Wall Hanging
aka The FUN Shit!
Graph Section
The actual image of the graph is included with the premium pdf version, available for just $3!
Worked in single crochet.
To begin graph section – Ch 37, 1st stitch of row 1 worked in second ch from hook.
Colors (A) & (B) denoted in Materials>Yarn section at beginning of pattern
Ch 37, begin row 1 in second st from hook to have one ch1 and 35 sc
← Row 1-10 [Alternating RS/WS, ending with 10th row on WS]: A36
← Row 11 [RS]: A2, B2, A, B2, A3, B2, A2, B6, A, B6, A5, B2, A2
→ Row 12 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B6, A, B6, A2, B2, A3, B2, A, B2, A2
← Row 13 [RS]: A5, B2, A3, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2
→ Row 14 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A3, B2, A5
← Row 15 [RS]: A5, B2, A3, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2
→ Row 16 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A2, B2, A6
← Row 17 [RS]: A6, B2, A2, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2
→ Row 18 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A2, B2, A6
← Row 19 [RS]: A7, B5, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A2, B5, A2
→ Row 20 [WS]: A2, B5, A2, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B4, A8
← Row 21 [RS]: A8, B4, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2
→ Row 22 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B5, A7
← Row 23 [RS]: A6, B2, A2, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2
→ Row 24 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A2, B2, A6
← Row 25 [RS]: A6, B2, A2, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2
→ Row 26 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A3, B2, A5
← Row 27 [RS]: A5, B2, A3, B2, A6, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A2
→ Row 28 [WS]: A2, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A6, B2, A3, B2, A5
← Row 29 [RS]: A5, B2, A3, B2, A2, B6, A, B2, A2, B2, A, B6, A2
→ Row 30 [WS]: A2, B6, A, B2, A2, B2, A, B6, A2, B2, A3, B2, A5 – B can be fastened off.
← Row 31-40 [Alternating RS/WS, ending with 40th row on WS]: A36 – DO NOT FASTEN OFF.
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Wall Hanging Pattern Instructions Continued
Top Border
Continue from top of graph:
Row 1: ch3, *(dc, ch1, sk1) 17 times*, dc, turn
Row 2: ch3, dc in each st and ch1 sp, turn
Row 3: repeat row 1
Row 4: ch3, *(dc in ch1 sp, ch1, sk next st) 17 times*
Row 5-6: repeat row 4
Fasten off leaving extra long tail for sewing dowel tube.
Bottom Border
Flip work upside down and RS facing, attach yarn in 1st ch of graph section beginning ch.
Row 1: ch4, sk1, *(dc, ch 1, sk1) 16 times*, 2dc, turn
Row 2: ch4, sk1, *(dc in ch1 sp, ch1, sk1) 16 times*, 2 dc, turn
Row 3: ch1, sc across, turn
Row 4: ch4, sl st in 3rd ch from hook, sc *(sc, picot, sc) 17 times*, fasten off.
Finishing
Sew Dowel Tube
Using extra long tail left at the end of top border section, fold the top border down towards the WS of the tapestry, whip stitch the top of the last row to the top of row 6 (last row) to the top of row 2 (dc row,) fasten off and sew in tail.
Hanging Cord
Choose a color, I prefer to use the same color as the background, but you do you. We’re going to create a cord using a simple crocheted chain.
Leave a generous tail at the beginning and end of this piece, it will be used to help secure the cord to the dowel in the final step. I like to leave about 18in.
ch 10, sl st in first ch, ch 70, sl st in tenth ch from hook, fasten off.
You should have a long chain with a loop and a long tail at each end. See 1st photo on Page 8 for visual.
Block
Sew in those ends and then BLOCK IT with the main piece (not including the hanging loops/tube) measuring around 10″ x 14″
I know, I know, blocking is no fun. But blocking can mean the difference between a nice rectangular flat piece and a wall hanging that looks like it belongs in a fun house. Block it damn it! Love you <3
I find that I prefer steam blocking for these pieces, it dries faster. BE CAREFUL with steam if you go with an acrylic yarn, overheating acrylic will “kill it” making it super shiny and drapey (totally a real word right? Right.) Unless, of course, that’s the look you want, then kill away 🙂
These are the mats I use and I love them!
Thread Dowel Rod
Thread the dowel rod through the loops/tube at the top of the piece. You may need to bust out a bit of sandpaper if the dowel is not smooth and the threads catch. Don’t have sandpaper? Try a nail file to at least smooth out the worst spots.
Now high five yourself because you're done my friend!
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6 thoughts on “Free Crochet Wall Hanging Pattern – Fuck.”
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Great pattern! Saw it on the Mom gifts blog hop and raced over here. Can’t wait to work it up and gift it—maybe to my mom. She has just started saying F$$k and boy does she say it now!
PS—The blog hop buttons are not working, at least the Ravelry one isn’t.
Glad you like the pattern! And thanks for letting me know, I’ll check the buttons!
I tried all afternoon and evening up to midnight and I was unable to download the pattern, thanks ; )
Sorry you had trouble! Feel free to shoot me an email and I’ll see what I can do 🙂 steph@classyladyyarnworks.com
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