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Subversive Cross Stitch and Crochet – Free Pattern


<<Pin This Subversive Cross Stitch & Crochet Pattern For Later!

FAIR WARNING. In this house, we swear friends.

So this is a subversive cross stitch and crochet pattern.

If you aren’t familiar with the term, subversive means; seeking or intended to subvert an established system or institution. Basically, the idea is to take this hobby that is traditionally depicted as very…I’m going to go with the word modest here…(Feel free to give me a better adjective as I’m NOT trying to sound derogatory at all, I love a good afghan as much as the next person and I’ll make a baby bum cover with joy…)and turn it on it’s head a little. To allow people to really be themselves and step outside the box if you will. 

Hopefully that makes sense. I’m writing this after a full day of momming a 4 year old and a 6 month old, the few brain cells I have remaining are TIRED friend.

Since I am releasing it in collaboration with Furls, who are amazing for allowing my sassy sweary self in on their blog hop, I had to tone myself down a bit.

This pattern is a nod to the autocorrect mishap where it’s constantly trying to correct F**k to Duck. It’s meant to be crass and funny and allow the maker to show their humorous side and, like all of my patterns, generally express themselves! 

So please know that if you continue to scroll…THERE WILL BE SWEARING. If this triggers you, please feel free to exit the page, no hard feelings.


Oh hey, just so you know! This post may contain affiliate links. If you click a link and purchase anything, I will receive a small portion of the sale from the seller. There’s ZERO extra cost to you. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t suggest something to you that I wouldn’t suggest to my own family, because that would be shitty and I prefer not to be shitty to people. Thanks for supporting my little business <3 

Are you still there?

If you stuck around, well…welcome to the fucking fold my awesome friend <3

And welcome back if you’re returning of course <3

SO. I am so excited to be releasing this. I have been so inspired by so many amazing subversive cross stitch patterns up to now. But there were always a few issues.

  1. I can’t fucking sit and look at those tiny little holes. It hurts my eyeballs.
  2. I am aware that there are glasses and magnifiers for that, but I hate using them and find them cumbersome or, in the case of reading glasses, I’m always losing the damn things.
  3. While cross stitch is great, I still really prefer crochet so I would never complete any cross stitch patterns that I started.

Anyone else have any of these issues?

So I thought…how can I pay respect to the subversive patterns I love so much and mix it up with my crochet?

I started to hunt for other cross stitch / crochet mashups. There were quite a few out there. But I didn’t LOOOVE the way cross stitching into the basic sc looked. 

Plus, let’s be honest, a panel of nothing but sc is a little bit…not exciting.

Enter the single crochet cluster! I saw a panel of these worked up and noticed how there was just this nice damn near perfect grid of little holes that were just begging to be cross stitched right into.

And my version of a subversive cross stitch pattern was born!

I hope you have a blast stitching it up!

Have you met Furls?

As mentioned, this has been released in collaboration with Furls. 

So a BIG FAT thank you to them for including me in their awesome blog hop series!!

Friends if you aren’t hooking yourself up (I’m so punny!!!) with a Furls hook, you are missing out. I LOVE my set of Odyssey hooks. If you’re like me and prefer a bit of weight to your hook, these are awesome. If you prefer something a bit more lightweight, they also create outstanding wood and resin hooks that are like works of art <3 You can see my Taurus 4.0mm in the pics! Ain’t it pretty?!


Furls Wander Yarn - Take the Quiz!

AND creating this pattern allowed me a chance to try out their Wander yarn. I found it to be comparable to Caron Simply Soft without the crazy amount of splitting!! Which if you know me, you know I hate Simply Soft for that reason.

So definitely give this a shot if you like a yarn with a nice shine but don’t want it to split on you constantly! There aren’t as many colors as Simply Soft, but the colors they do have are gorgeous! Very rich and saturated <3

And bonus, at $5 per 100g skein, it’s not going to cost you a fortune to make something pretty 🙂

Learn more about Wander Yarn and take the quiz to find out your Wander palette! I landed on “Autumn Embrace” 🙂

And of course be sure you are following along for this awesome blog hop they are doing all year long!

aka The Boring Shit.

Terms / Skill Level

US / Intermediate


Yarn -

Hook -

Notions -

    • Yarn Needle
    • Dowel at least 20″ long (or something to attach the piece to, I used a stick for this one, get creative! <3 )


Using 4.0mm hook and light worsted yarn (like Wander above) 10 scc x 9 rows = 4″x4″

Gauge is not important for this piece, just note that the rod length may need to be adjusted depending on final width.


~13″ x 18″


beg – beginning

ch – chain

dc – double crochet

rep – repeat

sc – single crochet

scc – single crochet cluster

sp(s) – space(s)

st(s) – stitch(es)


Special Stitches

1st scc of the row: sc2tog working in the first and second ch, ch1

all remaining scc in the row: sc2tog working in the 2nd ch from the prior stitch and the next ch, ch1

Find a video tutorial here:

Pattern Notes


Ch 1 does not count as first stitch in each row unless otherwise noted.

Instructions for
No Ducks Given
- A Subversive Cross Stitch and Crochet Pattern -
aka The FUN Shit!


Ch 54


Row 1: sc in 2nd ch from hook, (ch1, sk 1 ch, sc) 25 times, turn

Row 2: ch1, sc, scc across until 1 sc remains, sc, turn

Row 3-40: repeat row 2, do not fasten off, move to bottom border section

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Pattern Instructions Continued

Bottom Border

Row 41: ch3 (counts as 1dc,) dc, ch1, sk2 (3dc in each of next 2 st, ch1, sk5) 6 times, 3dc in each of next 2 st, ch1, sk2, 2dc, turn

Row 42: ch1 (counts as 1dc,) sc, sc in next ch sp (ch6, sc in next ch sp) 7 times, 2sc, turn

Row 43: ch3 (counts as 1dc,) dc, ch1, sk3 (3dc in each of next 2 ch, ch1, sk5) 6 time, 3d in each of next 2 st, ch1, sk3, 2dc, fasten off.


To clean up the edges you can work sc around the 3 sides of the panel. Be sure to work 2 sc in each dc row and 1 sc in the edge of each sc row.

Flip the panel so that the dc rows become the bottom of the piece.

Your panel will benefit from blocking at this point.

Once blocked you should clearly see a 25×40 square grid with holes to work your cross stitches into.

Want to make sure it looks right?

If you want some extra help, including photos, the premium version of this pattern is available with more pics for just $3 to help you out!

Cross Stitch Section

Use the grid below to follow and cross stitch your lettering and the duck!

The plants were stitched with a simple backstitch, at random. Feel free to get creative here! I used a double strand and ran it through a couple of times to get the bulkier buds/stitches.

Pattern Instructions Continued

Finishing Up

The plants were stitched with a simple backstitch, at random. Feel free to get creative here! I used a double strand and ran it through a couple of times to get the bulkier buds/stitches.

***If you want some extra help, including more photos, the premium version of this pattern is available with more pics for just $3 to help you out!

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And don't forget to pin this page for later so you can come back to this mug rug crochet pattern!


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Free Crochet Pattern – Plant Purgatory Wall Hanging

Let’s face it, just because you love plants, doesn’t automatically mean you have the greenest thumb on the planet…If you or someone you know keeps buying plants just to watch them slowly die on a shelf (like me…) then this wall hanging is the perfect in-good-humor free crochet pattern to stitch up 😀

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All Classy Lady Yarnworks patterns are ©2020 by Stephanie Wallick (Wallick Family Enterprises, Inc) and are for your personal use only. You may sell items you personally make by hand from these patterns. Feel free to tag @classyladyyarnworks, share the link to the appropriate post when posting about the item you made or use the social sharing links to share on social media. You may not redistribute this copyrighted content to any website or internet discussion group. Thank you for supporting indie artisans!
Fellow crochet bloggers are welcome to use one photo in roundup/collaboration posts, so long as you provide a link back to the associated blog post. This does not apply to any guest posts, you will need to contact the guest blogger directly. Please let me know when your roundup/collaboration post is live so I can share it on my own social media! Thanks

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Collage of images that represent free printable art perfect for crass people who also love crochet. There are 10 unique designs and most include expletives.

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