

This easy crochet rectangle shawl / wrap pattern is for all of you out there who get cold and do not fucking appreciate it. Like me 🙂
Seriously there is a reason why I’m mostly fine to stay living in Texas. I mean, for the most part. Some of our collective ideals down here in the Bible belt aren’t necessarily for me, but I appreciate that it doesn’t get ultra cold at least.

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Freezing My Tits Off Wrap - Crochet Rectangle Shawl
This rectangular wrap crochet pattern is perfect for the person who needs a little extra warmth at the office because they keep the A/C at what feels like -10 degrees. You can express your disdain and nobody even has to know unless you tell them!
When I dreamed this up I wanted to offer an option for some subtle snark. I love colorwork and that is generally what I tend towards, so I wanted to shake it up a bit and try something a little different 🙂
Autumn Exclusives
And I can’t mention dreaming up this pattern without mentioning Cosy Rosie UK. Fiona (the beautiful mind behind Cosy Rosie UK) selected me and this pattern to be featured in her Autumn Exclusive 2021 event and I’m just so excited and thankful!
So you can get my pattern by itself OR get yourself a better treat and snag the entire event bundle and get all the patterns for 87c each.
Friend that is 40, I repeat…FORTY patterns for $34.95
It’s a HELLUVA price O.o
More about the Freezing My Tits Off Wrap
This wrap is not a fast design, but it is a pretty simple one. And if you’ve never dived into the world of graph reading, this is a pretty simple one to get started with! (P.S. If you need some help with graph reading or colorwork, I can help with that! Check out my tutorial videos below!
It is composed primarily of single crochet, double crochet and cluster stitches. With a little bit of flare on the top and bottom border just for funsies.
For more contrast, if you’re feeling bold and audacious, switch the clusters to a secondary color!
To purchase this pattern just click the link below! And scroll down if you’d like a bit more info before you buy! Including a tutorial on the special stitch used in this pattern 🙂
Oh hey, just so you know! This post may contain affiliate links. If you click a link and purchase anything, I will receive a small portion of the sale from the seller. There’s ZERO extra cost to you. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t suggest something to you that I wouldn’t suggest to my own family, because that would be shitty and I prefer not to be shitty to people. Thanks for supporting my little business <3
Crochet Colorowork & Graph Tutorials
If you found these helpful, make sure you you follow Classy Lady Yarnworks on YouTube for more tutorials, yarn reviews and crochet-related videos!
Details
aka The Boring Shit.
Skill Level
Beginner/Intermediate: There is one semi-advanced stitch used, but don’t let it scare you, once you do it once or twice, you’ll have it down 😉
Terminology
US Terms
Materials
Yarn -
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- Yarnspirations – Bernat Softee Baby – Soft Peach
Hook -
-
- Furls Odyssey 4.0mm
Notions -
-
- Yarn Needle
Gauge
I don’t find that gauge is super important for this piece, but you don’t want it to be too far off. Especially if you’re talking about it being a bigger gauge (less stitches and rows in 4″,) because it will loosen the fabric and therefore reduce the contrast between the base stitches and the raised stitches
Using 4.0mm hook…Alternate rows of dc and sc, 16 stitches by 12 rows (6dc and 6sc rows) = 4″x4″
Sizes
82″ x 14″
Abbreviations
beg – beginning
ch – chain
cl – cluster stitch
dc – double crochet
dss – diagonal spike stitch
hdc – half-double crochet
rep – repeat
RS – right side
sc – single crochet
sl st(s) – slip stitch(es)
sp(s) – space(s)
st(s) – stitch(es)
tc – triple crochet
WS – wrong side
Crochet Pattern Notes
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Beginning ch(s) counts as first stitch in each row.
In graph form rows, each dc/cl row begins with a ch3 and each sc row begins with a ch1.
SC rows are worked between the dc/cluster rows in the graph section to keep the cluster stitches aligned properly.
Special Stitches within this Crochet Pattern
Diagonal Spike Stitch – Find a tutorial for this stitch here.
Cluster Stitch
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