
This crochet lapghan pattern is for the crocheter who is tired of people bugging them all the time!
Fucking FINALLY. The house is quiet.
You finally grab a crochet hook and your latest WIP from the baskets.
You pour a glass of wine….well…maybe that’s technically a glass and a half…but who’s counting.
You grab your pillow and flip it to the Calm AF side, plop your wine down on your favorite mug rug, pull up your current pattern on your tablet.
It has arrived.
Your me time.
You can shut your brain off.
You start stitching…1,2,3,4,5…

<<Pin This Crochet Lapghan Pattern For Later!
Then you hear it. The sound of every fucking living thing in the house suddenly realizing that you are doing you time.
And you can almost FEEL it…the moment that everyone decides they need something from you RIGHT NOW.
And perhaps normally you would put your hook down and get up to attend to all of the things.
But then you see that new lapghan you made for yourself.
You look at the people in front of you and silently cover your lap with the blanket.
Then you continue to stare at them while silently pointing to the words emblazoned across your lap.
And return to your stitching.
It is a good day.

Oh hey, just so you know! This post may contain affiliate links. If you click a link and purchase anything, I will receive a small portion of the sale from the seller. There’s ZERO extra cost to you. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t suggest something to you that I wouldn’t suggest to my own family, because that would be shitty and I prefer not to be shitty to people. Thanks for supporting my little business <3
This lapghan is made with three different colors to help keep it interesting since, I don’t know about you, but I can get a bit bored doing larger patterns that are just the same stitch over and over. At least you get to change yarn colors with this one 🙂
Since there are color changes for this pattern that couldn’t be carried on a wrong side, I recommend the tapestry crochet method for carrying colors. Unless you’re one of those people who like working with tons of bobbins…in which #YouDoYou friend.
The border utilizes a crossed double crochet, one of my favorite stitches to easily add a bit of texture to a pattern that has lots of double crochet.
And the tassels. Holy shit the tassels just bring me all the joy. I hope they do the same for you. If you need some pointers on making tassels, you can check out my tutorial here.
Details
aka The Boring Shit.
Terms / Skill Level
US / Intermediate
Materials
Yarn -
Hook -
Notions -
- Yarn Needle
Gauge
Using 6.0mm hook and any Caron one pound yarn, 12ldc x 6 rows = 4″x4″
Sizes
~3’x4′
Abbreviations
beg – beginning
blo – back loop only
ch – chain
cdc – crossed double crochet
dc – double crochet
flo – front loop only
hdc – half-double crochet
ldc – linked double crochet
rep – repeat
RS – right side
sc – single crochet
sl st(s) – slip stitch(es)
sp(s) – space(s)
st(s) – stitch(es)
tc – triple crochet
WS – wrong side
Pattern Notes
Uses Linked Double Crochet instead of sc like traditional colorwork. Find a tutorial for linked double here.
Uses a crossed double crochet. Find a tutorial for the crossed double crochet here.
Has tassel details at the corner. Find a tutorial for how to make a tassel here.
NEED HELP WITH COLORWORK?
Find my tutorials on tapestry crochet and graphs at the end of this post!
How to do the linked double crochet!
Check out this video and learn how to do the linked double crochet, which is the primary stitch for this pattern!
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Fuck Off I’m Crocheting Lapghan,
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Now share your amazingness with the world!
It brings me great joy to see how you make these patterns your own!
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Need some help in the crochet colorwork arena?
Check out the videos in my YouTube playlist of tutorials for Crochet Colorwork and Graphs
How to Read a Crochet Graph>
Change Colors Fair Isle Method>
You’ll see this called Intarsia in the video, but I have since learned that, after all this time of doing this thing, this method is actually called Fair Isle.
Intarsia is specifically where you would use a separate bobbin for each and every section where the color changes (using the video’s example, the H, I, ! and Background would all have a separate bobbin in Intarsia. Where Fair Isle, the colors are carried across the wrong side of the work.
Change Colors Tapestry Method>
And don't forget to pin this page for later so you can come back to this crochet lapghan pattern!

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