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Crochet Tote Bag Pattern – Crochet Shit

This crochet tote bag pattern will make the perfect gift for YOU! Because how long has it been since you made yourself something?! 

This pattern also includes an additional graph so you can make a plain polka dot panel, just in case you want to skip the rudeness…for some unknown reason 😉


<<Pin This Crochet Tote Bag Pattern For Later!

If you gauge it to match mine, you’ll end up with a bag that’s approximately 15″ x 16″x5″. 

I wanted this mofo to be BIG and have plenty of room to carry larger skeins or multiple small projects. 

Plus I needed more room to be absolutely positive there’s way no mistaking what it says HA! We wouldn’t want to mince words.

Below you will find some info and details about the pattern to help you know what to expect from it. Then you can click the green buttons to go to the product page and make it yours!


Oh hey, just so you know! This post may contain affiliate links. If you click a link and purchase anything, I will receive a small portion of the sale from the seller. There’s ZERO extra cost to you. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t suggest something to you that I wouldn’t suggest to my own family, because that would be shitty and I prefer not to be shitty to people. Thanks for supporting my little business <3 

aka The Boring Shit.

Terms / Skill Level

US / Intermediate


Yarn -

Hook -

Notions -

    • Yarn Needle


Using 4.0mm hook and yarn (A) or (B), 15sc x 15 rows = 4″x4″


Gauge is not terribly important for this piece unless you just really want the size to end up being exactly 15″ x 16″


Approx. 15″x16″x5″


beg – beginning

blo – back loop only

ch – chain

dc – double crochet

flo – front loop only

hdc – half-double crochet

rep – repeat

RS – right side

sc – single crochet

sl st(s) – slip stitch(es)

sp(s) – space(s)

st(s) – stitch(es)

tc – triple crochet

WS – wrong side

Pattern Notes


Ch 1 does not count as first stitch in each row.


Find my tutorials on tapestry crochet and graphs at the end of this post!

Tip for cleaning up your colorwork pieces!

Check out this video tutorial and tip for making colorwork pieces like these a little cleaner and more finished!

Purchase just this pattern or snag the whole set!



and snag the premium PDF bundle and get all 8 patterns for just $3.62 each!

You’ll get:

  • All 8 Patterns in the #MyCrochetShit series;

Fuck Off I’m Crocheting Lapghan,

Crochet Shit Project Bag,

Matching Polka Pouch,

Calf/Crazy AF Reversible Pillow,

3Cs Mug Rug,

Puff Stand Tablet/Phone Holder,

I Heart Balls Basket Set,

Stitch Bitch Wall Hanging

  • ZERO ads
  • Extra photo tutorials to help with visualizing various instructions
  • A nice neat layout that’s easy to read
  • My ETERNAL GRATITUDE for being the absolute fucking coolest human being and supporting my small business <3

You can also shop Ravelry, just add all 8 patterns to your cart to get the bundle price of $28.97

Get your 10 free printables for the classiest of yarn lovers!
Join the Classy Lady Yarnworks community below and you'll get the link right in your inbox!

Collage of images that represent free printable art perfect for crass people who also love crochet. There are 10 unique designs and most include expletives.

Now share your amazingness with the world!

It brings me great joy to see how you make these patterns your own! 

So please don’t forget to tag @ClassyLadyYarnworks and use #ExpressYourselfWithStitches and #MyCrochetShit when you share pics of your new piece so I and the rest of the community can tell you how fucking awesome you are <3 

You never know, you might just end up featured on one of my channels!

Need some help in the crochet colorwork arena?

Check out the videos in my YouTube playlist of tutorials for Crochet Colorwork and Graphs

How to Read a Crochet Graph>

Change Colors Fair Isle Method>

You’ll see this called Intarsia in the video, but I have since learned that, after all this time of doing this thing, this method is actually called Fair Isle. 

Intarsia is specifically where you would use a separate bobbin for each and every section where the color changes (using the video’s example, the H, I, ! and Background would all have a separate bobbin in Intarsia. Where Fair Isle, the colors are carried across the wrong side of the work.

Change Colors Tapestry Method>

And don't forget to pin this page for later so you can come back to this crochet tote bag pattern!


<<Pin this crochet tote bag pattern for later!

Connect with CLY and your fellow yarn addicts!

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Free Crochet Pattern – Plant Purgatory Wall Hanging

Let’s face it, just because you love plants, doesn’t automatically mean you have the greenest thumb on the planet…If you or someone you know keeps buying plants just to watch them slowly die on a shelf (like me…) then this wall hanging is the perfect in-good-humor free crochet pattern to stitch up 😀

Read More »
All Classy Lady Yarnworks patterns are ©2020 by Stephanie Wallick (Wallick Family Enterprises, Inc) and are for your personal use only. You may sell items you personally make by hand from these patterns. Feel free to tag @classyladyyarnworks, share the link to the appropriate post when posting about the item you made or use the social sharing links to share on social media. You may not redistribute this copyrighted content to any website or internet discussion group. Thank you for supporting indie artisans!
Fellow crochet bloggers are welcome to use one photo in roundup/collaboration posts, so long as you provide a link back to the associated blog post. This does not apply to any guest posts, you will need to contact the guest blogger directly. Please let me know when your roundup/collaboration post is live so I can share it on my own social media! Thanks

Sharing is caring!

10 free art printables that only the classiest of yarn addicts will appreciate!
Sign up and get yours below!

Collage of images that represent free printable art perfect for crass people who also love crochet. There are 10 unique designs and most include expletives.

10 thoughts on “Crochet Tote Bag Pattern – Crochet Shit”

  1. Beth McC -- Runeshadowbeth

    I spotted this pattern in the 2021 “31 Spring Crochet Patterns,” and I had to snap it up. LOL… I thought it was a great bag, and at first glance, should have known it came from your talented and irreverent hands. Thanks a million for participating in the blog hop. Now THIS is a project bag I’d be proud to use.

    Thank you for making my day!

  2. I’m wanting to get the BLOGLOVIN’ but I don’t see the link to get it. Can you please help me with this?

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