
This crochet tote bag pattern will make the perfect gift for YOU! Because how long has it been since you made yourself something?!
This pattern also includes an additional graph so you can make a plain polka dot panel, just in case you want to skip the rudeness…for some unknown reason 😉

<<Pin This Crochet Tote Bag Pattern For Later!
If you gauge it to match mine, you’ll end up with a bag that’s approximately 15″ x 16″x5″.
I wanted this mofo to be BIG and have plenty of room to carry larger skeins or multiple small projects.
Plus I needed more room to be absolutely positive there’s way no mistaking what it says HA! We wouldn’t want to mince words.
Below you will find some info and details about the pattern to help you know what to expect from it. Then you can click the green buttons to go to the product page and make it yours!
Oh hey, just so you know! This post may contain affiliate links. If you click a link and purchase anything, I will receive a small portion of the sale from the seller. There’s ZERO extra cost to you. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t suggest something to you that I wouldn’t suggest to my own family, because that would be shitty and I prefer not to be shitty to people. Thanks for supporting my little business <3

Details
aka The Boring Shit.
Terms / Skill Level
US / Intermediate
Materials
Yarn -
Hook -
Notions -
- Yarn Needle
Gauge
Using 4.0mm hook and yarn (A) or (B), 15sc x 15 rows = 4″x4″
Gauge is not terribly important for this piece unless you just really want the size to end up being exactly 15″ x 16″
Sizes
Approx. 15″x16″x5″
Abbreviations
beg – beginning
blo – back loop only
ch – chain
dc – double crochet
flo – front loop only
hdc – half-double crochet
rep – repeat
RS – right side
sc – single crochet
sl st(s) – slip stitch(es)
sp(s) – space(s)
st(s) – stitch(es)
tc – triple crochet
WS – wrong side
Pattern Notes
NOTES:
Ch 1 does not count as first stitch in each row.
NEED HELP WITH COLORWORK?
Find my tutorials on tapestry crochet and graphs at the end of this post!
Tip for cleaning up your colorwork pieces!
Check out this video tutorial and tip for making colorwork pieces like these a little cleaner and more finished!
Purchase just this pattern or snag the whole set!








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Fuck Off I’m Crocheting Lapghan,
Crochet Shit Project Bag,
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3Cs Mug Rug,
Puff Stand Tablet/Phone Holder,
I Heart Balls Basket Set,
Stitch Bitch Wall Hanging
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Now share your amazingness with the world!
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You never know, you might just end up featured on one of my channels!
Need some help in the crochet colorwork arena?
Check out the videos in my YouTube playlist of tutorials for Crochet Colorwork and Graphs
How to Read a Crochet Graph>
Change Colors Fair Isle Method>
You’ll see this called Intarsia in the video, but I have since learned that, after all this time of doing this thing, this method is actually called Fair Isle.
Intarsia is specifically where you would use a separate bobbin for each and every section where the color changes (using the video’s example, the H, I, ! and Background would all have a separate bobbin in Intarsia. Where Fair Isle, the colors are carried across the wrong side of the work.
Change Colors Tapestry Method>
And don't forget to pin this page for later so you can come back to this crochet tote bag pattern!

10 thoughts on “Crochet Tote Bag Pattern – Crochet Shit”
I spotted this pattern in the 2021 “31 Spring Crochet Patterns,” and I had to snap it up. LOL… I thought it was a great bag, and at first glance, should have known it came from your talented and irreverent hands. Thanks a million for participating in the blog hop. Now THIS is a project bag I’d be proud to use.
Thank you for making my day!
Um. Thank YOU for making my day with this extraordinarily thoughtful comment <3 I hope you enjoy making it as much as I enjoyed dreaming it up!!
I’m wanting to get the BLOGLOVIN’ but I don’t see the link to get it. Can you please help me with this?
Hey Jennifer! Sorry for the weirdness with that, I didn’t realize the click area was so small. If you click right on the word “Bloglovin” in the black square, it should be a link to my profile there 🙂
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