Premium Pattern – Dirty Bitch – Crochet Flower Pot Holder


aka The Boring Shit.

This crochet flower pot holder is a perfect gift for the gardener in your life!

This is the third in a series of pot cozies intended to help you express how you really feel about keeping those damn things alive…

These pieces are meant to be used on multiple pot sizes and shapes because there are just so damn many kinds out there! So I decided to use ties in order to allow some flexibility!

 Below is some info you may want before you purchase the pattern!
FAIR WARNING: These pot cozies were designed to be as universal as possible. They have one downfall, tapered shiny pots. I recommend a command hook or clothespins if you have a SHINY, TAPERED pot that you want to tie one of these on to. <3

Oh hey, just so you know! This post may contain affiliate links. If you click a link and purchase anything, I will receive a small portion of the sale from the seller. There’s ZERO extra cost to you. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t suggest something to you that I wouldn’t suggest to my own family, because that would be shitty and I prefer not to be shitty to people. Thanks for supporting my little business <3 

Terms / Skill Level

US / Intermediate


Yarn -

Hook -

Notions -

    • Yarn Needle


Using 3.5mm hook and yarn (A) or (B), 18st x 16 rows = 4″x4″ 


Approx. 11″x5″


beg – beginning

blo – back loop only

ch – chain

dc – double crochet

flo – front loop only

hdc – half-double crochet

rep – repeat

RS – right side

sc – single crochet

sl st(s) – slip stitch(es)

sp(s) – space(s)

st(s) – stitch(es)

tc – triple crochet

WS – wrong side

Special Stitches

(CK) Clones Knot – 20Loop

I racked my brain trying to come up with a way to demonstrate this stitch in text and photos and just could not figure it out and convey it in any way that felt like it made sense and wouldn’t leave you confused. SO, I made a video. If you need to learn how to do a clones knot, you can find that tutorial here:

Pattern Notes


Graph section worked in single crochet.

Beginning ch 51, start Row 1 in second ch from hook.

Ch 1 does not count as first stitch in each row.

It is my personal preference that each RS row is worked in the back loop only of the previous stitch and each WS row is worked in the front loop only of the previous stitch, however you can work in the stitches normally if you like. The plus side of working in BLO/FLO is that the stitches tend to line up A LOT better.


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