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Christmas is right around the corner. Maybe you’re feeling a bit bah-humbug about the whole damn thing, maybe you just appreciate a little holiday humor. This free crochet pattern is the perfect thing to gift yourself or a friend!
I, for one, am looking forward to the holidays. I found decorating for Halloween to be a nice distraction from all the joy that 2020 has brought. I’m looking forward to more of the same distraction honestly…
My daughter’s birthday is up next, right alongside Thanksgiving and then we get to start occupying ourselves with decorating for Christmas. Plus I love Christmas so much more now that we have a kid to celebrate it with. They really make it way more fun…
And I’m seriously hoping this little boy that’s occupying my uterus will decide to join us around the Christmastime area, because I’m pretty sure if he lasts until his mid-January due date…Ima die. I’m already immensely uncomfortable T_T
Plus I’m a January baby. I don’t appreciate that he’s trying to steal my thunder. I’m one of those people who happens to enjoy celebrating my birthday, thank you very much. He’s not even here and he’s already trying to ruin my life! Rude as hell.
Free Christmas Crochet Pattern - Merry AF Wall Hanging
Alright, back to what you came here for 🙂 This wall hanging works up super quick and easy! WIP one up this weekend and get it ready to hang proudly on your wall for the Christmas season! The final piece measures approximately 10″x13″, not including the hanger section.
I had so much fun playing with Cestari yarn for this design! If you haven’t tried out their yarns, you have to fix that my friend! The yarns used here were from the Old Dominion cotton collection and I adore the hell out of them. Probably the absolute best cotton I have ever had the pleasure of working with! The kettle dyed cotton seriously just made these patterns perfection <3
And I can’t mention the yarn without mentioning my favorite LYS that made the recommendation. Much love to Quixotic Fibers in Whitesboro, TX for helping me find it <3
Anyway, I had such a great time dreaming up these patterns (also see Naughty AF, the sister pattern.) I knew I wanted to have a vintage feel with a bit of modern sass/attitude/class as is my usual style 🙂 I hope you’ll enjoy stitching this up and adding a little holiday humor to your decor!
If you need some help in the colorwork area, I recommend this tutorial by my friend Claire over at E’Claire Makery. Since this is a one-sided piece, intarsia is by far my recommendation for working your color. It looks all nice and clean when you’re done 🙂
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Need some help in the crochet colorwork arena?
Check out the videos in my YouTube playlist of tutorials for Crochet Colorwork and Graphs
How to Read a Crochet Graph>
Change Colors Fair Isle Method>
You’ll see this called Intarsia in the video, but I have since learned that, after all this time of doing this thing, this method is actually called Fair Isle.
Intarsia is specifically where you would use a separate bobbin for each and every section where the color changes (using the video’s example, the H, I, ! and Background would all have a separate bobbin in Intarsia. Where Fair Isle, the colors are carried across the wrong side of the work.
Change Colors Tapestry Method>
Details
aka The Boring Shit.
Skill Level
Intermediate
Materials
Yarn -
-
- (A) Cestari; Old Dominion Collection (100% kettle-dyed cotton; 250 yd / 228.6 m; 3.5oz/100g): Clover Field, ~3/4 skein/175y
- (B) Cestari: Old Dominion Collection (100% kettle-dyed cotton; 250 yd / 228.6 m; 3.5oz/100g): Cotton Field White, ~25y
- (C) Cestari: Old Dominion Collection (100% kettle-dyed cotton; 250 yd / 228.6 m; 3.5oz/100g): Cardinal Red, ~50y
Hook -
-
- 4.0mm/G
Notions -
-
- Yarn Needle
- 12″ length of 1/2″ dowel rod, preferably a smooth one
Gauge
Using US G (4.0 mm) and yarn (A) 16 single crochet stitches (ch1 at beginning of row counts as 1st stitch) and 18 rows = 4”
Why gauge? If you want your piece to fit on the 12″ dowel rod, gauge matters. If you are fine with needing to cut a larger/smaller dowel, then it matters less.
Sizes
Finished size of tapestry itself (including tassels, BUT NOT including section to hang on dowel rod) – 10″ x 13″
Abbreviations
beg – beginning
ch – chain
dc – double crochet
hdc – half-double crochet
rep – repeat
RS – right side
sc – single crochet
sl st(s) – slip stitch(es)
sp(s) – space(s)
st(s) – stitch(es)
tc – triple crochet
WS – wrong side
Pattern Notes
Insert pattern notes
Special Stitches
Cross Double Crochet (dcs) – sk1, dc, (crossing in front of dc just created) work 1 dc in skipped st

Pattern Instructions for Merry AF - A Wall Hanging
aka The FUN Shit!
For entire project, each row begins with a ch 1 (so row 1 for example, will be one ch1 and 41 sc)
Graph is worked in single crochet, 1st st of each graph row is a ch 1.
The actual image of the graph is included with the premium pdf version, available for just $3!
Graph Section
Ch 43, begin row 1 in second st from hook to have one ch1 and 41 sc
← Row 1-8 [Ending with WS facing you]: A42
← Row 9 [RS]: A18, B2, A2, B2, A3, B2, A13
→ Row 10 [WS]: A13, B2, A3, B2, A2, B2, A18
← Row 11 [RS]: A18, B2, A2, B2, A3, B2, A13
→ Row 12 [WS]: A13, B7, A2, B6, A14
← Row 13 [RS]: A14, B6, A2, B7, A13
→ Row 14 [WS]: A13, B2, A3, B2, A2, B2, A18
← Row 15 [RS]: A18, B2, A2, B2, A3, B2, A13
→ Row 16 [WS]: A14, B5, A3, B7, A13
← Row 17 [RS]: A4, B3, A6, B7, A4, B3, A15
→ Row 18 [WS]: A34, B5, A3
← Row 19 [RS]: A3, B2, A, B2, A34
→ Row 20 [WS]: A34, B2, A, B2, A3
← Row 21 [RS]: A3, B2, A8, B2, A5, B2, A2, B5, A3, B2, A3, B2, A3
→ Row 22 [WS]: A3, B2, A3, B2, A2, B6, A2, B2, A5, B2, A8, B2, A3
← Row 23 [RS]: A3, B4, A6, B2, A5, B2, A6, B2, A2, B2, A3, B2, A3
→ Row 24 [WS]: A3, B2, A3, B2, A2, B5, A3, B2, A5, B2, A5, B5, A3
← Row 25 [RS]: A3, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A2, B2, A, B2, A2, B6, A2, B2, A3, B2, A3
→ Row 26 [WS]: A3, B2, A3, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B5, A2, B5, A2, B2, A, B2, A3
← Row 27 [RS]: A3, B2, A, B2, A3, B4, A3, B4, A2, B6, A2, B2, A, B, A, B2, A3
→ Row 28 [WS]: A3, B7, A3, B4, A3, B2, A5, B2, A5, B2, A, B2, A3
← Row 29 [RS]: A32, B7, A3
→ Row 30 [WS]: A3, B3, A, B3, A32
← Row 31 [RS]: A32, B2, A3, B2 (you can fasten off B,) A3
→ Row 32-38 [Ending with WS facing you]: A42
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Pattern Instructions Continued
Top Border
Continue from top of graph, RS facing:
Row 1: ch3, 20dcs, dc, turn
Row 2: ch3, dc across, turn
Row 3: repeat row 1
Row 4: repeat row 2
Row 5: ch9, sl st into 8th ch from hook, (5sc, ch8, sl st into 1st ch) 7 times**, sc, fasten off.
** I recommend pausing after 2 or 3 repeats to make sure that you can insert your dowel rod into the loops. If it’s too loose, you can remove a chain or two, if it’s too tight, add a chain or two
Top Border
Flip work upside down and RS facing, attach yarn A in graph section beginning ch.
Row 1: ch3, 20dcs, dc, turn
Row 2: ch3, dc, (ch3, sk 3, dc) 10 times, turn
Row 3: ch1 {does not count as 1st st}, sc, (ch3, tc into next ch 3 sp, ch3, 7dc into loop created by ch3 and tc, sc in next dc)10 times, fasten off
Poinsettias - worked in the round
Top Layer Petals, make 1:
Row 1: Beginning with magic ring and leaving long tail for sewing, sl st, sc 10 into ring, sl st into 1st sc
Row 2: In same st as joining sl st, ch4 (counts as first sc, ch3), sc, (sc, ch3, sc) 4 times, sl st to 1st ch of beginning ch 4
Row 3: ch1(sl st into next ch loop, ch2, hdc, dc, hdc, ch3, hdc, dc, hdc, ch2, sl st into same loop) 5 times, sl st into beginning ch 1, fasten off
Bottom Layer Petals, make 2:
Row 1: Beginning with magic ring and leaving long tail for sewing, sl st, sc 10 into ring, sl st into 1st sc
Row 2: **ch 7, sl st in back loop of 2nd ch from hook, sl st in back loop of each remaining ch, sc, (sc, ch6, sl st into 2nd ch from hook, sl st in back loop of each remaining ch, sc) 4 times, sl st into 1st ch of beginning ch
[you should have 5 “arms” that look like image 1 to the left]
Row 3: ch1, *{sl st into 1st ch of next arm, ch 2, dc, tc, dc, hdc, [(in same st at end of arm) sc, ch3, sc,], hdc, dc, tc, dc, ch2, sl st, sk 2}repeat from * 4 more times, sl st into beginning ch1, fasten off.
[you should have 5 completed petals]
**Tip: keep these chains and sl st good and loose as you’ll be working stitches into them
Attach Poinsettias
Using long tail from beginning magic ring, place and sew two large petals at the bottom right of the graph area.
Center the small petals on the bottom-most large petals and sew using long tail from beginning magic ring.
Using white yarn, sew loose random stitches at center of each petal set (refer to picture for visualization)

Finishing
Hanging Cord
Choose a color, on this design I used the same green as the body, but you do you. We’re going to create a cord using a simple crocheted chain.
Leave a generous tail at the beginning and end of this piece, it will be used to help secure the cord to the dowel in the final step. I like to leave about 18in.
ch 8, sl st in first ch, ch 68, sl st in eighth ch from hook, fasten off.
You should have a long chain with a loop and a long tail at each end.
Block
Sew in those ends and then BLOCK IT with the main piece (not including the hanging loops/tube) measuring around 10″ x 13″
I know, I know, blocking is no fun. But blocking can mean the difference between a nice rectangular flat piece and a piece that looks like it belongs in a fun house. Block it damn it! Love you <3
I find that I prefer steam blocking for these pieces, it dries faster. BE CAREFUL with steam if you go with an acrylic yarn, overheating acrylic will “kill it” making it super shiny and drapey (totally a real word right? Right.) Unless, of course, that’s the look you want, then kill away 🙂
Thread Dowel Rod
Thread the dowel rod through the loops/tube at the top of the piece. You may need to bust out a bit of sandpaper if the dowel is not smooth and the threads catch. Don’t have sandpaper? Try a nail file to at least smooth out the worst spots.
Attach Hanging Cord to Dowel
Fold hanging chain in half and tie a loop knot in the center. I like to put my finger in both loops at the ends as I pull it taught to make sure the knot stays centered.
Push center chain thru the loop to create a slip knot. Slip this on to the dowel about 1/2 an inch from the end. Pull taught. Do this on both ends of the dowel.
Thread tail into yarn needle and wrap tightly around the center of the chain loop 3 or 4 times. Thread the needle up thru the about 5 or 6 chains on the center chain. Pull taught, but be sure not to scrunch up the chain. If you scrunch it up, just pull the chain from above the needle to straighten it back out. Then run the needle back down the chain towards the dowel and snip. Do this on both ends of the dowel.
Now high five yourself because you're done my friend!
Now share your amazingness with the world!
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So please don’t forget to tag @ClassyLadyYarnworks and use #ExpressYourselfWithStitches when you share pics of your new piece so I and the rest of the community can tell you how fucking awesome you are <3
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