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Have you been Naughty or Nice this year?
This free Christmas crochet pattern is for the Naughty at heart 🙂
If you’re more interested in real holiday cheer, see the Merry AF pattern, that one might be a bit more your speed 😉
I had such a blast with this design!! I love how the little stocking full of coal turned out. I wanted to add some sort of Christmas motif but I had no clue where I wanted to take it. Then I thought, stockings full of coal….and look at how well they would hang right there off of the hook on the “g” and the “y.” PERFECTION!!
Free Christmas Crochet Pattern - Naughty AF - A Wall Hanging
OK, I know what you really came here for 🙂 This wall tapestry works up really quick and easy! WIP one up this weekend and get it ready to hang up on your wall for the Christmas season! The final piece measures approximately 10″x13″, not including the hanger section.
I had so much fun working with Cestari yarn for this design! If you haven’t tried out their yarns, fix that my friend! The yarns used here were from the Old Dominion cotton collection and I adore the hell out of them. This is definitely my favorite cotton I have ever had the pleasure of working with! The yarns are kettle dyed and seriously just made these patterns perfection <3
And of course I have to give some love to my favorite LYS that made the recommendation. Much love to Quixotic Fibers in Whitesboro, TX for helping me find it <3
Anyway, I had so much fun designing up these patterns (also see Merry AF, the sister pattern.) I knew I wanted to have a vintage feel with a bit of modern sass/attitude/class, because you know that’s my style 🙂 I hope you’ll enjoy stitching this up and putting a bit of holiday humor to your decor!
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Need some help in the crochet colorwork arena?
Check out the videos in my YouTube playlist of tutorials for Crochet Colorwork and Graphs
How to Read a Crochet Graph>
Change Colors Fair Isle Method>
You’ll see this called Intarsia in the video, but I have since learned that, after all this time of doing this thing, this method is actually called Fair Isle.
Intarsia is specifically where you would use a separate bobbin for each and every section where the color changes (using the video’s example, the H, I, ! and Background would all have a separate bobbin in Intarsia. Where Fair Isle, the colors are carried across the wrong side of the work.
Change Colors Tapestry Method>
Details
aka The Boring Shit.
Skill Level
Intermediate
Materials
Yarn -
-
- (A) Cestari; Old Dominion Collection (100% kettle-dyed cotton; 250 yd / 228.6 m; 3.5oz/100g): Cavalier Red, 1 skein/250y
- (B) Cestari: Old Dominion Collection (100% kettle-dyed cotton; 250 yd / 228.6 m; 3.5oz/100g): Clover Field, 1/3 skein/125y
- (C, D, E, F) scraps of cotton yarn in colors of choice. I used Cestari; Old Dominion Collection in Cardinal Red, Cotton Field White, and Virginia Spring Green along with some scraps of a miscellaneous black I had laying around.
Hook -
-
- 4.0mm/G
Notions -
-
- Yarn Needle
- 18″ length of 5/8″ dowel rod, preferably a smooth one
Gauge
Using US G (4.0 mm) and yarn (A) 15 single crochet stitches (ch1 at beginning of row counts as 1st stitch) and 18 rows = 4”
Why gauge? If you want your piece to fit on the 18″ dowel rod, gauge matters. If you are fine with needing to cut a larger/smaller dowel, then it matters less.
Sizes
Finished size of tapestry itself (including tassels, BUT NOT including section to hang on dowel rod) – 14″ x 19″
Abbreviations
beg – beginning
ch – chain
dc – double crochet
hdc – half-double crochet
rep – repeat
RS – right side
sc – single crochet
sl st(s) – slip stitch(es)
sp(s) – space(s)
st(s) – stitch(es)
tc – triple crochet
WS – wrong side
Pattern Notes
Try playing with different sized yarn to create smaller or larger finished pieces! Just remember you’ll need to adjust the dowel rod too!
Special Stitches
Double Cluster Stitch (dcs) –
YO, insert hook into next stitch, YO, pull loop through, YO, pull through 2 loops, YO, insert hook into same stitch, YO, pull loop through, YO, pull through 2 loops, YO, pull through remaining 3 loops on hook
Cluster V-Stitch (cvs) –
sk 1, dcs in next st or indicated sp, ch2, dcs in next st or indicated sp

Pattern Instructions for Naughty AF - A Wall Hanging
aka The FUN Shit!
For entire project, each row begins with a ch 1 (so row 1 for example, will be one ch1 and 61 sc)
Graph is worked in single crochet, 1st st of each graph row is a ch 1.
The actual image of the graph is included with the premium pdf version, available for just $3!
Graph Section
Ch 63, begin row 1 in second st from hook to have one ch1 and 61 sc
← Row 1 – 10 [last row worked on WS]: A62
← Row 11 [RS]: A44, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A8
→ Row 12 [WS]: A8, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A44
← Row 13 [RS]: A44, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A8
→ Row 14 [WS]: A8, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A44
← Row 15 [RS]: A44, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A8
→ Row 16 [WS]: A8, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A44
← Row 17 [RS]: A44, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A8
→ Row 18 [WS]: A8, B6, A2, B5, A41
← Row 19 [RS]: A41, B5, A2, B6, A8
→ Row 20 [WS]: A8, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A44
← Row 21 [RS]: A44, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A8
→ Row 22 [WS]: A8, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A44
← Row 23 [RS]: A44, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A8
→ Row 24 [WS]: A8, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A44
← Row 25 [RS]: A3, B6, A19, B6, A10, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A8
→ Row 26 [WS]: A8, B6, A2, B6, A6, B6, A19, B6, A3
← Row 27 [RS]: A3, B2, A2, B2, A19, B2, A2, B2, A6, B6, A3, B4, A9
→ Row 28 [WS]: A28, B2, A2, B2, A19, B2, A2, B2, A3
← Row 29 [RS]: A3, B2, A23, B2, A32
→ Row 30 [WS]: A32, B2, A23, B2, A3
← Row 31 [RS]: A3, B2, A23, B2, A32
→ Row 32 [WS]: A32, B2, A23, B2, A3
← Row 33 [RS]: A3, B4, A7, B2, A4, B2, A2, B2, A2, B6, A3, B4, A3, B2, A6, B2, A3, B2, A3
→ Row 34 [WS]: A3, B2, A3, B2, A2, B6, A2, B6, A2, B6, A2, B2, A2, B2, A4, B2, A7, B4, A3
← Row 35 [RS]: A3, B6, A5, B2, A4, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B6, A2, B3, A2, B2, A3
→ Row 36 [WS]: A3, B2, A2, B3, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A4, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A3
← Row 37 [RS]: A3, B2, A2, B2, A5, B2, A4, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B3, A2, B2, A3
→ Row 38 [WS]: A3, B2, A, B4, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A4, B2, A5, B2, A2, B2, A3
← Row 39 [RS]: A3, B2, A3, B2, A4, B2, A4, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B4, A, B2, A3
→ Row 40 [WS]: A3, B2, A, B4, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B2, A4, B2, A4, B2, A3, B2, A3
← Row 41 [RS]: A3, B2, A3, B2, A2, B6, A2, B6, A2, B6, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B6, A2, B2, A, B4, A3
→ Row 42 [WS]: A3, B4, A, B2, A2, B6, A2, B2, A2, B2, A2, B6, A2, B5, A3, B6, A2, B2, A3, B2, A3
← Row 43 [RS]: A14, B2, A8, B2, A18, B2, A6, B2, A, B4, A3
→ Row 44 [WS]: A3, B4, A, B2, A26, B2, A8, B2, A14
← Row 45 [RS]: A14, B2, A8, B2, A26, B2, A2, B3, A3
→ Row 46 [WS]: A3, B3, A2, B2, A26, B2, A24
← Row 47 [RS]: A24, B2, A26, B2, A2, B3, A3
→ Row 48 [WS]: A3, B2, A3, B2, A26, B2, A24
← Row 49 [RS]: A24, B2, A26, B2, A3, B2(you can fasten off B,) A3
→ Row 50-59 [ends on RS]: A62, DO NOT FASTEN OFF A

Top Border
Continue from top of graph, RS facing:
Row 1: ch 4 (counts as 1dc and ch1,) dcs, 14cvs, sk1, dcs, ch1, dc, turn
Row 2: ch 4 (counts as 1dc and ch1,) dcs in next ch1 sp, sk2, {cvs in ch 2 sp (work both dcs in same ch 2 sp)} 14 times, sk2 dcs in ch1 sp, dc, turn
Row 3: ch 9, sl st into 8th ch from hook, **(5sc, ch8, sl st into 1st ch) 12 times, fasten off
** I recommend pausing after 2 or 3 repeats to make sure that you can insert your dowel rod into the loops. If it’s too loose, you can remove a chain or two, if it’s too tight, add a chain or two
Bottom Border
Flip work upside down and RS facing, attach yarn B in graph section beginning ch.
Row 1: ch1, sc in next st, (ch4, sk4, sc) 12 times, turn
Row 2: ch 9, sc in next sc, (ch 8, sc in next sc) 11 times, fasten off.
Tassels (Color B)
You need 120 strands that are approximately 9-10 inches in length. I like to wrap the yarn around a book that is about that width, 60 times, then snip the yarn on each of the two ends. of the book to achieve 120 strands.
Using 10 strands at a time, knot strands through each of the 12 chain 8 spaces. Do this by folding the loops in half, pushing the looped end through the chain space, placing thumb and pointer finger between the looped end and the chains, grabbing all the strands from just below the chains and pulling through the loop. Pull evenly and tight. If strands are not the exact same length, you can always snip them to be even if you like.
Stockings - Make 2 in color combinations of choice
Main Body: Ch 12 (leave long tail for sewing), begin Row 1 in second ch from hook
Row 1: sc in 2nd ch from hook, 7sc, turn (leave remaining ch unworked, this will be the stocking “hanger”)
Row 2-7: ch 1, sc across
Row 8: ch 4(counts as tr), tr, 2dc, 2hdc, 2sc, turn
Row 9: ch 1 (counts as sc), sc, 2hdc, 2dc, 2tr, turn
Row 10: Repeat row 8
Row 11: Repeat row 9
Row 12-16: ch1, sc across, turn
Row 17: ch1, sk1, sc2tog, 3sc, sc2tog, turn
Row 18: ch1, sk1, sc2tog, sc, sc2tog, fasten off leaving long tail for sewing
Decorative Top: attach second color at either end of top of stocking, leave long tails at beginning and end for sewing.
Ch3, dc in same st (counts as 1st dcs,) dcs in each st across, fasten off leaving tail for sewing
Coal
Bear in mind that this part doesn’t really need to be perfect, if you think about it, coal is far from perfect, so just make some varying circular-esque shapes and it’ll be fine 🙂
Make 2:
Ch 3, sl st into 1st ch, fasten off
Make 2:
Ch 4, sl st into 1st ch, fasten off
Make 2:
Ch 4, sl st into 1st ch, then sc 4 or 5 stitches in the round, fasten off
I like to take the tails of each piece and double knot them together, then snip with a short tail remaining.
Then, using one of the tails left when adding the decorative top to the stocking, sew 1 of each coal size to the WS top of the stocking. I recommend doubling back and pinning down the tails before sewing in the tail end.
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Pattern Instructions Continued
Finishing
Hanging Cord
Choose a color, on this design I used the same green as the lettering and tassels, but you do you. We’re going to create a cord using a simple crocheted chain.
Leave a generous tail at the beginning and end of this piece, it will be used to help secure the cord to the dowel in the final step. I like to leave about 18in.
ch 8, sl st in first ch, ch 88, sl st in eighth ch from hook, fasten off.
You should have a long chain with a loop and a long tail at each end.
Block
Sew in those ends and then BLOCK IT with the main piece (not including the hanging loops/tube) measuring around 14″ x 19″
I know, I know, blocking is no fun. But blocking can mean the difference between a nice rectangular flat piece and a piece that looks like it belongs in a fun house. Block it damn it! Love you <3
I find that I prefer steam blocking for these pieces, it dries faster. BE CAREFUL with steam if you go with an acrylic yarn, overheating acrylic will “kill it” making it super shiny and drapey (totally a real word right? Right.) Unless, of course, that’s the look you want, then kill away 🙂
Thread Dowel Rod
Thread the dowel rod through the loops/tube at the top of the piece. You may need to bust out a bit of sandpaper if the dowel is not smooth and the threads catch. Don’t have sandpaper? Try a nail file to at least smooth out the worst spots.
Attach Hanging Cord to Dowel
Fold hanging chain in half and tie a loop knot in the center. I like to put my finger in both loops at the ends as I pull it taught to make sure the knot stays centered.
Push center chain thru the loop to create a slip knot. Slip this on to the dowel about 1/2 an inch from the end. Pull taught. Do this on both ends of the dowel.
Thread tail into yarn needle and wrap tightly around the center of the chain loop 3 or 4 times. Thread the needle up thru the about 5 or 6 chains on the center chain. Pull taught, but be sure not to scrunch up the chain. If you scrunch it up, just pull the chain from above the needle to straighten it back out. Then run the needle back down the chain towards the dowel and snip. Do this on both ends of the dowel.
Now high five yourself because you're done my friend!
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8 thoughts on “Free Christmas Crochet Pattern – Naughty AF”
Funny stuff!
Lovely one! It names naughty but looks so nice
It’s important to have balance in all things hahaha
Love it!
Thanks! 😀
it mentions “graph” but I cannot find one to save my life lol! can you help please! Thanks
So there’s a graph pdf included in the premium pattern. Did you pick that up? If not just scroll up to the big red buttons to get the code and then go over to Ravelry, it’s free right now (12/6/20.) But that does make me realize I should probably find a better way to word that section in the blog post pattern, sorry if that’s confusing. Technically it’s written out in graph form as far as the text goes but there is no actual image of the graph/grid in the free pattern/blog post. Let me know if you still need help and sorry for the confusion!!
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